A letter to you, lady

Dear THAT mom,

 

I saw you and your child at the store the other day. I'm not sure what's going on in your world right now. You might be under a boat load of stress, maybe you're homeless, or maybe you just had a death in the family. I get it, I don't know you, or your story. Some serious stuff might be going on.

 

But what I do know, is that the way you spoke to your child tonight at the store, will affect him forever. The way you told him to shut up, will be embedded in who he is for the rest of his life. When you told him 'you aint gettin nothin you little brat', he didn't deserve it. When you told him to 'just sit the eff down', and he didn't listen, so you abruptly stopped the cart which made him sit fall down, is not okay.

 

This is your child. He looks up to you and relies on your for everything. Emotional growth included. And what you are doing to him is not okay. I wanted to come up to you and tell you these things in person, but given what I know about people in general, this wouldn't have been a good idea. I also just wanted to give your child a hug. He clearly needs it.

When you treat your child the way I saw you treat him in public, makes me really sad. Do you realize that this little guy loves you with all he has, and when you swear at him and treat him so poorly, that you are breaking his social emotional self? His ability to regulate his emotions is effected. The way he will treat others, and expect to be treated is based on you. You have a really important job, and I don't think you understand how your actions impact your child, my children's friends, and my community.

 

I'm not saying you are a bad person. What I'm saying is that you need to find a better way to deal with your stress, rather than taking it out on your child. We all have bad days, and we all say and do things that we shouldn't. However, based on my observations of you and your child, this wasn't the first, nor the last time. Your child didn't look upset or surprised, which tells me that the interaction between you two is typical. And that makes me scared and sad for your child. Do you realize that the events in his childhood lay the foundation for who he is and how he responds to future experiences?

 

So THAT mom, please try to understand I'm coming from a good place. I don't know your child, but I care about him. If life is difficult for you right now, reach out for help. Your child doesn't deserve wonder how he will be treated. Or worse yet, expect to be treated like I saw you treat him. 

You don't have to parent this way, it's your choice. And hopefully, some day soon, you choose different. 

 

Sincerely,

THIS mom