What's in my bag?

Noun
purse (plural purses)

1. A small bag for carrying money.
   • 1550 Mierdman, Steuen, The market or fayre of usurers

     And then muſt many a man occupie as farre as his purſe would reache, and ſtretche out his legges accordynge to the length of his couerlet.

2. (US) A handbag (small bag usually used by women for carrying various small personal items)

A SMALL bag for carrying MONEY?!?! Hmmm, Mama Bergie definitely is not adhering to definition number one.

Number two, however, seems to be a fit. I use my bag and carry several personal items. Hardly any of which is money.

Here is what my purse looks like today. I know, I know...you were dying to know.

 

 

I have gum. Who doesn't need gum?

 

I also have a progress report from Paisley's speech therapist. I haven't opened it yet. I should probably do that.

 

There's a Paul Frank notebook. I love that thing and am seriously pissed that one of the kids drew on it. I love Paul Frank and I love note paper! Don't mess with me!

 

And...an invitation to a birthday party from a child in Paisley's class. She's going to the party tomorrow. I don't usually just carry around random kid's invitations. 

NEXT...

Glasses. I hate wearing my glasses, and then I love to complain that I can't see. I'm not blind or anything, but people's faces are super blurry to me. At least I carry them with me. I think that counts for something.

I have a baggie 'o wipes. I'm a mother, hello!! Although I love it that recently when I went on a little long road trip with 3 kids, my sister in law and my mother in law...the first one to need the wipes was my MIL. :)

I guess I have a pear, in a baggie. Eww. I'm sure I stuck that in there for lunch or a snack or something one day. The bad news, I can't remember when, and had no idea it was in there. The good news, it's not rotten.

And...my wallet. Plum full of receipts and junk.

NEXT... (yup, still more!)

A rubber band. Ya never know when you'll just need to throw your hair up!

I have texting gloves. A gift from my sister in law. Love them. How in the H do they work? It's like magic! I would love to take these out any day now though. I'm pretty sick of wearing gloves to text while driving. I kid. I kid.

Nail polish remover. I go crazy when my nails are chipped n stuff. I used to be a nail biter...for like 29 years. Actually, I probably didn't bite my nails when I was an infant/toddler. So we'll say 26 years. Anyway....polish helps me from biting...but now I pick. So the remover comes in pretty handy.

And pens. 4 pens and 1 pencil to be exact. I'm pretty shocked because typically when I clean out my purse, on average I have about 9-10 pens in my purse.


NEXT.... the little compartment inside my purse...

Tampons. Who doesn't need tampons? Does anyone else get really grossed out using tampons that are all wrinkled up from being in your purse? I mean, I get that it's just the wrapper and the tampon is fine...but I just don't like it.

Then lip gloss/stick-- I haven't used that lipstick in like 2 years. I do not know why I keep switching it from purse to purse.

Under eye concealer. I have serious black circles under my eyes. They are gross. Therefore, I carry this with me. Not that it helps.

Mascara, just in case...and an eyelash curler...because I cannot go without it. I feel like I'm dead without my eyelashes curled. And I'm sure I look it too.

Powder. Looks like I need to get some new stuff.

I'm actually quite shocked that I didn't find wrappers and crumpled up receipts in there. And you know what I always have in there that I don't today? A diaper!! That must mean that we are close to getting rid of those puppies!

Purses are interesting. They're really interesting when your children can't say their "R" sound too. "Mommy I love your purse" just doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Now go clean out your purse...you might have a pear in it!