Mom Guilt

First of all, do Dad's have Dad guilt? Really, do they? My baby daddy is sleeping, I can't ask him if he gets Dad guilt. You know Mom guilt the minute you give birth. It's the incredible, my kids will remember this and resent me forever guilt, every time you choose you over them.
 
Believe me when I say that I totally think your children should come first. Most of the time. If you don't ever put yourself first, you will totally and completely lose you. And your kids need YOU! This means taking time to do whatever you love. Go out for happy hour, scrapbook, run, read a book about bondage (I have yet to read Fifty...I will, I swear!), sit in a coffee shop alone, go to a movie with your bestie...whatever it is, do what makes you happy. I'm not saying every day; let's be real. But once and a while. You gotta do you.

Sounds pretty good, huh? Take time for you. Simple enough. AHEM. Yah. Simple Shmimple. Then why almost every time I do one of those things do I feel this overwhelming guilt? I feel like because I work full time, my non-working time should be spent with them!  They grow so fast and they need me. I'm the best. Shit won't get done like it should if I'm not home. And heaven for bid they are 5.5 minutes off of their routine!! Yes, I am a bit of a control freak. But that's nether here nor there.

Anyway...how do you get the balance? I remember when Paisley was small. It was the same thing! I guess I can say that it's gotten easier over the years...but I think it's because now I need the break. With one child, you don't need the break like you do with four. I promise.
See...she screamed when I would leave.

 

And now-- I have one who screams "Up mommy!" the second I walk in the door. I seriously feel guilty for dropping the kids off at the pool after work. No, not literally. Google that shit. No pun intended. But really. She makes me feel so bad. She just wants her mommy!! It's hard being away all day and only having 2-3 hours at night with them!

 

 

AND THEN....I'm suppose to make time to work out?? We can't afford a gym membership, so the hubs and I attend "Average Joes Craig's" in our basement. If you don't know what movie that's from, then we can't be blog friends. Google that shit too.

So, as I try to get rid of the 756 pounds I have to lose, and just get healthier, I head down to exercise. And when I do that...this is what I get. (a very patriotic toddler begging for me to hang out with her)

 

 

Actually, the truth is, the first thing I get is a poopy diaper. I don't know what it is, but EVERY SINGLE time I go down to work out, someone poops. And it stinks. I've tried to ignore it and finish the workout, but you just can't. As I'm gasping for air, I'd prefer clean-ish air, not air that smells like ass.

 

But after the poop, I get more of this...

 

 

Okay, I can hardly do my leg lifts and crunches lifting my own weight. And then a lovely, sweet, cute little girl plops on me. How can you not give in to that?? I just feel bad. Again, she wants her mommy! I've been gone all day, and now I'm choosing to work out over playing with her?! It gives me major mom guilt. I get it, I know....I'm setting a good example for the kids, I'm happier, healthier, blah blah blah. But it doesn't mean it's easy.

 

Whether it's making a date night with Craig (which literally happened ONE time in 2012. Sad. Very sad.), a girl's night out, working out, or even taking Paisley to dance and leaving the other ones home-- I just feel bad.

I know I need to suck it up...but I swear, when that embryo implants, so does Mom guilt.

 

And speaking of feeling guilty-- I need to teach you all a lesson so you never feel the worst guilt. Way worse than leaving your kiddos to 'do you' guilt....

Check for hair that could be wrapped around your child's toe!! Yes, I'm serious! Everleigh had a hair wrapped around her toe for about two weeks, and I didn't notice. How do you not notice that your child's toe is dying?!?! Well, I didn't. I had no clue. And luckily...baby girl and her toe are now fine... but this mommy is scarred for life.

 

 

 

I'm still going to try to make time for things other than my children, but I'm probably still going to bitch about how hard it is. At least with my bestie and the blog readers, anyway. If you happen to have the magic pill to make it go away, hook a sista up.

 

~B to the R to the O O K (Golly Gee, I love being gangsta)

 

After all this typing....I really am wondering if guys feel this way? They don't feel guilty when they dutch-oven you, so they probably don't. I don't know.