Motherhood is not for sissies

Out of all of my friends, I'm probably the one who can handle gross stuff the most. Not a whole lot gets my tummy turning. I can hear stories about pretty much anything...even when I'm eating. But I'm the minority. Most of my friends pass out at the talk of a paper cut, never mind discussing child birth and baby blowouts. Once, my friend actually threw up because of the smell of a fart. True story. (although she may or may not have been intoxicated at the time) And now she's a mom, cleaning up poop-galore. Although she still gags doing that! :)

So what happens when you become a mom? You instantly have to suck it up. Motherhood is not for sissies. You have to clean up poop that has trailed up the back and down the legs. And you have to clean up puke rolling around in their crib. You wipe butts and you dig crusted old food out of everywhere. You scoop poop from the bathtub and you wipe more snot that you ever thought possible. You may even have to assist your child in getting their own poop out. That brings back some memories. Fun. But you do what you've gotta do. Being a mom is so gross. Ugh, I just thought of something! I can handle poop and snot, but I cannot handle chewed up gum. We aren't really to the gum chewing stage yet...but I better not see gum sitting on one of my children's plates...GAG!!!

The minute you have your child, you have to throw your sissy pants out the window. Because Motherhood is not for sissies. When I had Paisley, my mom got me this book.

 

It quotes a whole bunch of people who have children. Before I was a mom, I loved the quote, "parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love"...but I think it should say "parenting is the hardest volunteer work you'll ever love". You get paid for a job, fools. I'm pretty sure the only thing I'm getting paid in here is dishes, laundry and stress. Oh wait...I get paid in hugs too. Those are almost as good as money. Almost.

 

As I re-read this book this week, I related hard core to this one...

If you think for one second that nothings going on here...it means someones up to trouble. If it sounds like somethings going on here...somethings going on. Someone is always crying. Someone is always needing 'milkies'. Someone is always into something they shouldn't be. And someone (ME) is always tired. It's never ever dull here. And now thanks to Taylor Swift, every time I type 'never ever', I throw in a little weeeeeE are never, ever, ever, getting back together. And then I want to punch myself in the face.

Morale of the story--

 

And given the circumstances some days, it looks like I've done a really good job. Which means, I am not a sissy.

 

Blogger's Remorse

Have you ever said something to someone that you wished you wouldn't have said? I told you before that one thing I dislike about myself is my inability to just not say anything at all!! The same applies to blogging. Sometimes I write things that are just stupid. And lame. Or sometimes my husband says I swear too much. Or sometimes I write a whole post that's really negative....and then it haunts me for days on end. (like the last one) I think about what the post said and who I may have offended. When you blog, you end up publishing posts that reflect your attitude at that moment, and sometimes that's good, and sometimes it's bad.

 

 I even have bloggers remorse about starting 'confessions'. Do I really want the whole world to know what I'm thinking? And do they really care? But more so, do I actually have the time to put in to two blogs? Shake your head no. Because I don't.

 

I love writing. I love sharing my experiences as mama of the Bergie Bunch. I love blogging. But I wonder if it's time to just combine the two? Or stop confessions? Hmmm. Here I go again, thinking out loud, which often gets me in trouble. As does thinking too much. Which I pretty much have a PhD in.
I so appreciate the positive feedback from readers. I just want to make sure I'm not creating confessions to bitch about how hard being mama Bergie is. Because, it is hard. But it's also really fun too. I wouldn't change it for one second. Well...actually one second would be good. But that's about it. 2 seconds with out my Dramatic Miss P, Sensitive Hudders, Crazy Mad Mike and Silly Baby E would kill me.

Love from the B Bunch,
Mama
 

Good for you!

I'm so happy for you! I see that you did 729 crafts with your child last night and posted every last one on FB. I, on the other hand, had great intentions. We got out the paint, and yeah...it went downhill from there. It's about process not product, people. DUH.
 

 

I'm so glad you were able to get your two hour work out in, eat your salad, and stick to your diet all day. I too, was ready to workout and eat healthy all day. Then I realized that my name is Brook. And I love to eat. And I think about food 99% of the day.

 

I'm so happy you two were able to get away on your trip to Hawaii! What a wonderful way to spend time together! I spent time with my husband too! Yesterday, when he walked by me, grabbed my boob, and said, Good night. I haven't seen him yet today.

 

What a wonderful thing...you planned meals for the whole week for your family on Sunday night. Sunday night is meant for blogging. Because if I don't, I get death threat emails from my bestie and my family. Plan away, biotches.

 

You got a new puppy! How sweet!! I have a puppy too. He's 8 1/2 and he has allergies and ear issues that cause us to spend a billion dollars on him each month. I'm so busy I sometimes forget to feed him and he licks himself raw. But don't you worry. My dog is cuter than yours. 

 

I love your polish and your gel nails! Very Pretty! I use to get my nails done too! Three years ago. Now, I buy $.99 polish and paint them at night. When my nails are wet, I can't eat. So I do about 6 coats until I have to go to bed and then they get effed up from my sheets.

 

You download every learning app on your ipad for your children? What a great mom you are! I don't have an ipad. End of story.

 

Your child is doing some reading and they aren't even in Kindergarten yet?! WOW! So is mine. Boom.

The real story is that sometimes, people throw themselves a good ol' pity party because of this crap. I may or may not be super jealous of the Hawaii going, nails always done, crafting freaks. Sometimes I think, UGH, I wish that was me! And sometimes I'm really okay with the life I live. The fact that people only post what they want you to see (on social media sites) can really mess with a person's mind. Luckily, most of the time...I can get it together and talk behind their backs (kidding. or not)...and realize that I have nothing to prove to anyone. Anyone except myself. And the good news is that the majority of the time, I like me. I definitely don't like my body or my stubby fingers or my seven chins or the black bags under my eyes. I'd love to be able to think before I speak more often, and have more patience. But in general, I like me.

So, good for you, for being so awesome! I'm my own kind of awesome.

Shit happens

Some days are just the shits. Like last night, when I went upstairs to tuck the kids in. I was helping Hudson in the bathroom when Paisley said to me, "Mom, Madden's wall is all brown." I just said, "Oh really" and carried on. Then she came back in and said, "No mom!! Madden said it's poop!" So I rush in, and sure enough, there is shit smeared all over the wall.

I was SO mad. And so grossed out. The child is 3 years old now. I should not have to be dealing with his feces wiped all over the wall. I know that he gets into everything, but really?! His own poop?? He's never done anything like this before! UGH. I obviously promptly cleaned (that shit) up, and told  him he'd lost his DVD collection for the night. (He sleeps with them). Thinking back, that probably wasn't the most logical consequence for his behavior, but at the time, I was so mad...and that was the only thing I could think of. Really, that's punishment for us, but whatev. We can deal.

After I got everything cleaned and bleached, all four kids tucked in, I walked downstairs to clean up the house a bit. I saw the bathroom garbage can sitting on top of the counter...sure enough, it was full of water, toilet paper and stickers. Like, for real?! I just want them to stop making messes like this!! After a long day, I don't have time for anything beyond the norm.

So, I picked up a few toys and random things still left on the floor, and then somehow, I accidentally made my way to the fridge for some moscato. Oh, and a Cadbury Egg. And this happened. (and yesssss, I realize my wine glass has dishwasher water marks on it. Deal. #ittastesthesame)

And it felt good. I'm not gonna lie, it helped. I don't often cope with life with wine...but clearly, I should try it more. Maybe if I drink a few more, I'll forget how much it sucks to clean poop off the walls?

Then I texted my mom and asked her if I was really that bad as a child. I was just wondering if this is payback for something. Obviously she said I was an angel and never did anything wrong! Duh.  

Drink Up!
XOXO,
B

Can you relate?

Scenario(s):

I'm cooking

I'm changing a diaper

I'm unloading the dishwasher

I'm getting dressed

I'm putting clothes in the washer

I'm doing my makeup

I'm talking to my husband

I'm putting groceries away

 

It doesn't matter what I'm doing... I get...

 

MOM, LOOK AT THIS!

MOM, SEE WHAT I CAN DO?!

MOM!
MOM, HELP ME!

MAMA!

MOM, HE HIT ME!
MOMMY!

MOM, LOOK AT THIS!

MOM, SEE WHAT I MADE?!

MOM!

MAMA!
MOM, GUESS WHAT?!

MOM!

MOM, WATCH ME!

MOMMMMMYYY!

 

OH EM GEE. It's like a I am being pecked to death by a bunch of ducklings!! I'm sure some day I will long for them to talk to me and need me like this, but I'm not kidding when I say that the word 'mom' is probably said 400 times per day. It's ridic.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom. Love it. But the constant momomomomomomomomomomom can stop. I'm really okay with that.
I hope I'm not the only one who is being pecked to death....a long, slow death. :)

Love you, P, H, M & E-- I promise, I do!
 

Sleep

I don't know about you, but I love me some sleep. I literally used to crawl into bed and say out loud, "I love you bed." Most people consider themselves a morning or a night person. I am neither. I like to sleep in, and I like to go to bed at a decent time too. But guess what? In 2007, that love of sleep went BUB-BYE. Forever, I think.

With four children, I'm bound to get up at least once a night for one reason or another. I'm not gonna lie, there are nights I do get to sleep through the night now that I don't have an infant. But let me tell you (I earned it) that Paisley didn't sleep through the night until she was 10 months old, Madden until 8 months, Hudson at 7 months, and Everleigh...our best sleeper, 6 weeks. It was long few years with no sleep. And when I say no sleep, I mean it. When you have nursing twins, you'll understand. And if you never have nursing twins, consider yourself lucky. And well rested.

But see how cute they are when they are asleep?

But many nights, I'm up. Sometimes it's a legit reason. Sometimes it's not. Last night, I woke to a loud, "MOOOOMM!" I got up, stood next to the twins' door and waited. I didn't hear anything else, so I was just going to go back to bed. Then something made me go in and check. Sure enough, Madden was sitting up, with puke everywhere! UGH! After cleaning up the bedding, pillows, pajamas, etc and starting laundry at 3am, I went back to bed. Then I heard something else, so I went to check it out. It was a bare-bottomed Hudson, standing on a toy, looking in the dresser with his flashlight. He wanted some different jammies (smh). After dealing with that, I went back to bed, again. About 5 minutes later, another loud, "MOOOOM!". I rush in expecting to see more puke. Hudson says to me, "Mom. My blanky hit me." -- REALLY?! Go. To. Bed. I am tired!

More than once, Paisley has woken me from a dead sleep to tell me that her pinky itches. Guess, what? At midnight, I could care less that your pinky finger itches. Tell one of your stuffed animals, this mom is sleeping!! Or the best is when you roll over, and awake to a child standing at the side of your bed! Scares the shit out of you!!

Between the husband's loud snores, the kids having to go potty, my leg pain (I have Schwannomatosis that keeps me up a lot at night), sickness, losing toys down the crack of the bed and other nonsense. I long for sleep again. I dream about the days when I have to yell to get the kids out of bed, because that means, I got to sleep in.
The whole sleeping through the night business though...that might be gone. I understand my kids will always need me for something in the night. And when they're old enough to be out with friends, I'm sure I'll be awake worrying. Especially because the room that the twins share has easy access to sneaking out. And lord knows that these two will master any lock we place upon those windows.

Oh, sleep. I miss you. Until that day when you come back into my life, I guess I'll get by with big bags under my eyes, several cups of coffee, no energy, big yawns and the distant memory of what we once had. You made me happy. Come back again, soon. Okay?!
 

A letter to you, lady

Dear THAT mom,

 

I saw you and your child at the store the other day. I'm not sure what's going on in your world right now. You might be under a boat load of stress, maybe you're homeless, or maybe you just had a death in the family. I get it, I don't know you, or your story. Some serious stuff might be going on.

 

But what I do know, is that the way you spoke to your child tonight at the store, will affect him forever. The way you told him to shut up, will be embedded in who he is for the rest of his life. When you told him 'you aint gettin nothin you little brat', he didn't deserve it. When you told him to 'just sit the eff down', and he didn't listen, so you abruptly stopped the cart which made him sit fall down, is not okay.

 

This is your child. He looks up to you and relies on your for everything. Emotional growth included. And what you are doing to him is not okay. I wanted to come up to you and tell you these things in person, but given what I know about people in general, this wouldn't have been a good idea. I also just wanted to give your child a hug. He clearly needs it.

When you treat your child the way I saw you treat him in public, makes me really sad. Do you realize that this little guy loves you with all he has, and when you swear at him and treat him so poorly, that you are breaking his social emotional self? His ability to regulate his emotions is effected. The way he will treat others, and expect to be treated is based on you. You have a really important job, and I don't think you understand how your actions impact your child, my children's friends, and my community.

 

I'm not saying you are a bad person. What I'm saying is that you need to find a better way to deal with your stress, rather than taking it out on your child. We all have bad days, and we all say and do things that we shouldn't. However, based on my observations of you and your child, this wasn't the first, nor the last time. Your child didn't look upset or surprised, which tells me that the interaction between you two is typical. And that makes me scared and sad for your child. Do you realize that the events in his childhood lay the foundation for who he is and how he responds to future experiences?

 

So THAT mom, please try to understand I'm coming from a good place. I don't know your child, but I care about him. If life is difficult for you right now, reach out for help. Your child doesn't deserve wonder how he will be treated. Or worse yet, expect to be treated like I saw you treat him. 

You don't have to parent this way, it's your choice. And hopefully, some day soon, you choose different. 

 

Sincerely,

THIS mom